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The ruins of my heart

April 23, 2018

The ruins of my heart I’ve carried with me like a heavy weight. These walls were built with the hopes and dreams of a young woman so self-assured. Inside them I could hear the laughter of children. I could feel the warmth of my lover’s embrace. I could see myself smiling from the depths of my being. I had decided early on that my life was going to be simple and perfect. 

However, forks in the road lead me to a different reality. As the years passed me by I noticed the bricks of expectation fall down around me. Some would chip away at my resilience; some would reveal a glimpse of a life beyond my own ideals. The more bricks that fell, the more I could see that life offered many opportunities for me to create my own path to happiness beyond trying to contain and protect a dream within four walls. 

Now its time to let go of the brick and trust that my intuition will guide me to a deeper love for self, others and life beyond the perameters that I’d initially set for myself.

 

 

I took this image on a recent visit to Tasmania where I worked at the NewKind festival.  I had an extra day post work commitments and decided to hire a car and go exploring the Tasman Peninsula coastline with my camera and my only prop (a $2 dress I bought from an op shop). My bag was filled with camping and work gear so I couldn't go nuts on the props.  

 

My phone decided to die as soon as I got in the car so I had no GPS or email access, but I thought to myself 'how hard can it be to find my way to my humble cottage accommodation and the historic sites?'.  Luckily it wasn't hard at all.  Plus it made the exploring just a little more adventurous, particularly with the addition of 60/70km winds and cold rain.  

 

This shot was taken at the Coal Mine convict site, where the 'worst cases' of convicts were sent for punishment and reform.  The site was actually closed to the public due to the high winds but my curiosity got the better of me and I snuck in.  I felt quite uncomfortable almost immediately.  There were the eerie remains of small underground solitary confinement cells with very little natural light.  I didn't stay in that part long at all!  It just amazes me that people were, and still are treated that way, regardless of their crimes.  Imagine arriving into a land so rugged and beautiful only to be confined to a tiny hole in the cold, hard ground.  This particular mine was operational for around 40 years.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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